I know it has been a long time since I have written... The reason would have to be two fold...time, of course is an issue and I also find myself feeling very, very sad when I write. I feel sad that you aren't here so I could just tell you the things I want to tell you. I know I talk to you daily in my mind but writing for some reason makes me sad. I guess I am sad. It has been what seems a lifetime since you have been gone and I still feel the pain as if it were yesterday. I am still mad, at what who knows just mad. Things of course go on and life goes on but it will never be the same without you here. You were and always be my favorite person in the whole world! I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR LOVE, YOUR SMILE AND EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOU!
Damnit you made me cry again...stop it for goodness sake it, stop it.
About two weeks ago while at work a nice gentleman came up to the register with his daughter and when i looked up he resembled you, that caught me off gaurd to start. Then when he ordered he had the same mannerisms as you and even his voice seemed uncannily like yours. It was all I could do to take his order and give him his change. Many emotions, I was happy but sooo overwhelmed with saddness too. It was like seeing an old friend that didn't know he was my friend. It was sooo odd and I could sense that he knew something or he just thought I was crazy...who knows, I think he wanted to run out the store and call the cops on the crazy lady at Starbucks. I had to excuse myself for a moment and get a grip. He hasn't come back yet, I kinda wanted him to. Strange huh...well you know me.
Well, that is it for now, I have to finish up my shopping and get some stuff done around here. I will be back, I promise. Oh and if you can do something about this weather...you know I hate wind!!
I love you,
J
